This isn’t really about Kris Allen. I’ve just got his song Live Like We’re Dying stuck in my head. The part that says ‘you never know a good thing til it’s gone’. My passion is playing the piano and I’ve kind of known that ever since the dinosaurs used to babysit me. Anyway sometimes I take it for granted that that is what I will have the opportunity to do in life. I have slacked on taking my opportunities and then I could almost see my dream slipping away. Today I’m going to talk about two instances that stick out in my mind.
Back in February I was scheduled for music auditions at Texas Tech. Phoebe had just had surgery so I kinda of… okay I REALLY slacked off of practicing. So come time the week before auditions I was simply not ready. Holly had a talk with me and she said ‘Are you sure you want to do this? You have to REALLY want to do this because this isn’t a light commitment’. That scared my guts out and I practiced my fingers off that week. By God’s grace I did well at the audition [I feel its the best I EVER played those three songs] and got into Texas Tech. But that moment it’s like I saw my whole life flash before my eyes and I realized I really didnt want to lose this. I decided that if I didn’t get into the school than music wasn’t going to be the way to go. Obviously I made it and music is the way I am going.
The other moment was today. We were trying to pay for school at the last minute. It wasn’t getting through and they kept sending me emails warning me that they were going to cancel my classes at 4:30 today. It was 4:29 and I couldn’t get it to work. It scared my guts out again. I saw everything, the audition, moving in, the trip to lubbock, graduation, meal plans… EVERYTHING being a waste. Again by God’s grace I got it paid for and I am going on with my college career. But I realized I don’t want to lose this. I’ve gotten this awesome opportunity and I don’t want to lose it.
So yeah, deep post of the week. But of course what I hate about scenarios like this is I always end up crying. It’s something I do way too easily and I do it less than I used to, but still too much for my taste. It’s part of being a girl. :/ I hope it doesn’t ever come across that I am crying just for like… the tears effect? You know what I mean. The girl is crying so you have automatic sympathy. It works I swear but I have never used it on purpose. I just wish I would cry and talk at the same time that way people on the phone would have no idea I was crying. And you wondered why I love texting so much…