I wanna live

17 06 2011

Is it really only Wednesday? Oddly enough the week is dragging on. I believe it is because I am working the evening shift in the kitchen. It tends to do that to you. I really need to be up at 5:30am tomorrow but I am not falling asleep right now.

I love family. I love the idea of family, I love having a family, and I love making people part of my made up family. Generally if you are in my family you feel like you are family to me. Sometimes I see people who seem to need a family and I welcome them with open arms. I want a family of my own one day. I don’t want it now, but I do want one. I look at Bennet’s family and my heart melts at how hard he works, how sweet he is to his wife, and how sweet his kids are. I’m sure their family isn’t perfect but it inspires me. I love Bennet. Josh reminds me of him. That’s another family that is inspiring to me. They have their first kid on the way but already I see how sweet he is to her and the way they work together and my heart melts.

I am going to practice patience with the people who get on my nerves. My previous tactic was avoidance. Now I am going to face them head on and force myself to deal with them.
Also I want my old self back. The one that had fun and fake argued about everything. I miss that me. I saw her tonight and realized how much I really missed her.

I wanna live like today could be my last day. To give all I have before it’s too late. Goodbye to all the fear and doubt because this love is what life’s about. -Stellar Kart, I Wanna Live

I’m tired of pretending that I’m perfect and have no problems and know everything. I wanna live a new life. I have no accountability for anything. I am going to quit church for a while until I can go for more than going because ‘I should’. I want to be genuine.

Btw Laura is a towel.

songs I am digging yo dog
The Script – For The First Time
Justin Bieber – Baby
Sara Barielles – King Of Anything

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2 responses

18 06 2011
Lauren

I love you, Camie mamie. I always will. (: You are a part of my family.
Remember that time we argued over…i don’t even know what, and then i died and was texting you from heaven? Yeah, I still remember that. ;)

26 06 2011
toothpic

I LOVE FAMILY! haha I’m glad I’m in your family and I totally remember that! it’s good to know that heaven has cell service

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