feeling guilty for everything
caring so much about other peoples opinions
being scared to talk about controversial things
avoiding serious conversations
not speaking up when people are being dumb and judging others
judging people for talking with food in their mouths
feeling guilty for cringing when certain people text me
I swear I will quit these things… except for the fact that these things take time to change and I’m kinda addicted to them.
For some reason a lot of things just piss me off. Especially later in the day. Not sure why. One is people exclaiming “you are the best” or “you are awesome”… also a few people who I don’t want to mention here. Philip is keeping me sane but he doesn’t know it. He’ll probably never know because I’m not quite sure how to tell him. The occasions I tell him he is awesome he tells me I’m going insane because I’m not insulting him lol. Lauren keeps me as sane as she can from a distance. I just need her and Aron to come to Lubbock and live, or I guess I should go back home. \
Failed the math placement test but I’m just stupid and thought I could/should do it on my own…. I’m trying to be whatever about it… but it’s not really working. So I’m going to go to bed before I manage to convince myself I’m a horrible person.
I just realized this is a terrible depressing post and I apologize. It’s just got some ranting. Things are going really good, it’s just the little dumb stuff that I keep getting frustrated and mad about.