Boy meets girl…

6 02 2012

Relationships.

They frustrate me when it comes to explaining them to other people. People always assume things no matter what you tell them.

Person 1: “Hey do you like him?”
Person 2: “No, we are just friends.”
Person 1: *thinks in head* Oh they will really get married someday.

Person 1: “Hey what’s up with you and her?”
Person 2: “Oh it’s complicated”
Person 1: *makes all sorts of ungodly judgements in head*

I personally can usually handle relationships until people start wanting details and start making judgements and giving advice. That makes me want to tear my hair out. I understand people perceive things differently, but I can’t change their judgement and perception about my relationship so I just generally hate talking to people about them. That doesn’t mean I won’t ask advice about them, but if I need advice I’ll ask the people closest to me who know me and how I relate to the other person.
To me it’s an extension of a good friendship except everybody expects you to make it something super public. I don’t go around telling EVERYBODY about my super close friendships, and I view relationships rather the same way. Most people view it as something super public. Example: The super public facebook relationship status announcement, “are they facebook official”.

The real reason I wrote this post was to make my first official complaint about the way Christians used “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” philosophy in very very bad ways. The concept is great, that you don’t throw yourself into relationships, you take it slow, and you save some things for later. The problem is that nowadays Christians are taking it to be “here is a checklist of things that makes a godly relationship”. That in itself is good, if it is used as a sacrament, helpful guidelines to go by. The issue comes in when people don’t live up to those standards, or they don’t have the textbook relationship. Then they feel guilty about it. I am queen of feeling guilty about things and I personally know this. Then the problem is since, whatever the relationship actually is, is viewed as bad so the people in the relationship hide it. They agree to hold themselves to certain standards so things look good but their heart is not behind it so they actually don’t do it. I think it’s just bullshit honestly. I believe that if both individuals are mature they can figure it out between themselves and they should seek counsel from mature people that they trust. But by all means not just make a bunch of stupid guidelines that mean nothing.

Now that I’m done ranting, I just want to say that I love relationships. I just don’t view them as a way to get to know people. You get to know the person as a friend, and then you move on to being in a relationship. When exactly is that point is a tricky thing and that’s just the fun of it. Not knowing and wondering for days, and it’s awkward and nerve wracking because nothing is sure.

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