Last weekend….

3 02 2013

I hate putting titles on things. Hence the reason my blog post titles aren’t that exciting.

Anyway just wanted to put some thoughts into writing about last weekend.

So basically it was my birthday weekend, and Philip was supposed to come up here and be here for that. He had kidney stones that didn’t pass so he had his surgery about the time that his flight was supposed to be landing in Lubbock.  I was super bummed but then…

…one of my friends was in a car wreck that was supposed to be at our birthday gathering. Usually when I hear about car wrecks that involves someone my age it’s usually someone I don’t know, or I only heard about it from a friend who knows them personally. This one really affected me because it involved somebody that I knew, and the passenger who died was someone that my friend had told me about so in a way I felt like I knew her.

I went to see my friend in the hospital and a few things that stand out in my mind…

The first thing he said when he saw me was Happy Birthday, and told me that he was going to be there which to me most people who’ve been in a wreck where they were rushed to the hospital they would not have even thought about that, and honestly if you were in a wreck we all understand why you weren’t there.

I ended up listening to his dad talk about what had happened and it sticks out in his mind about how he kept repeating that it was very sad but there is a reason through all of this.

When I was talking to my friend he brought up the female passenger who he knew rather well and the way he talked her death, he focused more on how her family is and he wished she didn’t suffer rather than focus on how all of this will affect him.

Also the girl’s family had visited right before I got there and they told him that their number one priority was him healing. That was amazing to me how they approached the situation without condemnation, anger or bitterness.

Either way it was a weekend that really put into perspective what is important in life to me. I can sit there and feel like Philip not being there is a complete weekend downer or just be glad that he is alive, that he is doing fine and is safe. A girl who didn’t make to my birthday gathering apologized profusely and my thoughts honestly were, it doesn’t matter. You are safe and that is what matters.

At the end of the day I declare, God is good. Next week I plan to return to regular programming of weekly challenges.

Songs I’m loving

Bruno Mars – Locked Out Of Heaven

Family Force 5 – Cray Button

Linkin Park – Burn It Down


It’s the small things…

31 10 2012

Life sucks.

Life is unfair.

Life isn’t always fun.

Life is hard.

Life is not a basket of roses.

I would agree with all of the above statements.  I honestly believe they are true.  If one thinks about those sentences regularly you are bound to catch yourself in a very depressed mood.  For me personally I may believe those things, but I have to take the time to see all the little things in life that make it happier and worth it.  Last night I was leaving the music building and was almost to my dorm when I realized I had lost my ID. Part of me wanted to scream in frustration because it hadn’t been the best day. When I went back to look for it I did find it.  I could have easily spent HOURS searching for it, I could have easily never found it and been even more frustrated.  If I focus on the losing my ID part then that’s hugely frustrating, but if I focus on the part that I found very easily that helps not to stay in a bad mood.  It really is a choice. You can be that person mad about everything, always in a bad mood, or you can choose to have a different attitude.  A bad attitude by far is the easiest to fall into and keep, but a better attitude is worth it in the long run.

Also as a little rant here, I’ve seen people say things such as “depressed people see life like it is”… that is NOT true.  Depressed people see life through lenses that are greatly negative.  Usually it is because of stress of brain chemicals but they do not look at life correctly. Along those same lines, people say “I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist”. Realists aren’t people who take everything in life and find the most negative way to view it.  That is pessimism.  Let’s not get confused with all of that.

Songs I’m loving

Train – 30 Ways To Say Goodbye

Phantom of the Opera – Point Of No Return

Demi Levato – Give Your Heart A Break

The home stretch…

6 08 2012

Summer is almost over.  Two weeks before I head back to school and three weeks until school actually starts up. *gasp* Yes, but I know I have enough energy to tackle this school year. I feel I had a good chance to evaluate myself and where to move forward in life.

1. I want to balance eating cheaply and eating well.  I don’t plan ahead very well. I’ll end up eating three times in six hours one day, or on another day I’ll eat breakfast but not eat for ten hours. I don’t listen to my body as far as when to eat, how much to eat or what to eat.  I know there is a better way to do this.  I’m going to think less about money when it comes to eating, and more on what my body is telling me.  Not necessarily submitting to sugar cravings…

2. Related to number 1, I haven’t been exercising well either because half the time I don’t have the energy to get myself over to the gym and do something other than go to sleep. But I’m planning to get a locker at the gym… that’s how I got myself to practice more.  That way I don’t have the excuse of “I have to haul all my stuff to the gym”. It is just there which is awesome. Plus Amber and I have officially decided we are workout buddies which will definitely be motivating.

3. I like learning, but too often I get in a bad mood and spend more time in the bad mood then trying to learn something, or study for my classes.  This year I’m going to concentrate on taking some time to learn something everyday even if it is not stuff for my classes.  It could be a self assigned project or something, but it has to be learning something. 

4. I think spiritually I just needed sometime to step back and look at myself.  See myself lash out with my ugly sinful side, see the parts of me that I don’t like, see that I’m not a great person honestly, and accept that.  Accept the fact that no matter what I do, I will never be a “good” person, or be satisfied with myself. But have the right attitude about it. Not letting that be a depressing thing but also not letting it be something where I just give up on everything and let whatever happens. I want to be a change, but I can’t do it myself as a measly human.  I want to speak up on behalf of the people who don’t have voices, who need help etc… but without taxing myself to the max.  That balance is where the challenge lies.  I will be trying it out this school year and I’m excited to see where it happens.  

To add a side note to the change thing.  I want to support people in their own betterment. I don’t mean force people to change, but help people take the things they want most, and help them stay motivated and on track. Something I’m good at… I’ll see exactly how this idea takes shape. 
Life is a journey, not a destination. I find some of the best ways to make progress is to listen and seek understanding so that you can work with people and see where they are coming from. People come and go, but a few stay forever.

Songs I love:
Hans Zimmer – Discombobulate
Outkast – Hey ya
LMFAO – Take it to the Hole

Seen on a flair…

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